L.O.V.E.

I used to think stuff with this word made sense....
The more you think it does, the more it doesn't.
And I think I like it that way.

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you, and it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could have misunderstood, and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new, and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Best quote EVER.

Gansta Love...

Watch out, I've seen this type before,
TOXIC. Deadly and dangerous.
Hey, I must say thanks, you give the best kinds of writing.
But that's besides the point...

I can't be a part of this tangled mess anymore.
I need to break free, fresh and be my own person.
For real, my dude you like a parasite.
Eating away at my insides.
This shit is crazy.

"It's not that I didn't care, It's that I didn't know.
It's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't SHOW."

And I'm not mistaken.
I don't care where, I gotta go
Out of sight out of mind they say.
And I've clearly overstayed my welcome
This is beginning to kill me...

Silent but deadly.
The hope and the hopeless.
And this chick gots to make moves.

Even if it's baby steps,
And that's all she wrote.

Scary kind of thing

So baby listen...
I need somebody to hear me out real quick
To hear what I have to say.
Which is worth listening, so I don't have to say it out loud alone.
Afraid of the consequences of my actions,
The deeper meaning; hidden behind words unsaid.
What a scary kind of thing.
But it's not time to have any breakdowns or meltdowns--- not now.
Just words and ears, but thoughts and paper for now.
I say one thing but mean another, but no take back this time.
I can't pretend finding the words are easy.
Track by track, I feel myself trying to find the right kind of words.
I don't know what the difference the right kind will make.
If the meaning still the same.
But I don't mind repeating myself
If the feeling is the same.
But every move you make affects mine,
Our minds in sync seems almost biological.
Without words...you get me.
But time is something we never did have,
Enough time to figure out all this baggage we got,
Emotions we bring, and memories
I close my eyes
and let them all float back into my head.
Letting my sub-conscience absorb it like a huge sponge.
And whether it all means something.
To bet high, or to bet low.
What a scary kind of thing.
Tainted or true?
I would never want nothing tainted.
Who knew?
You are who you be.
And step by step we go,
Like we're moving on thin ice
Underneath all we got is more decisions, dealing with other people's twisted emotions.
What a tangled mess we made.
I say, screw it, I'll bet all my chips....
For answers.
I don't need you say in that matter.
Decisions.
What a scary kind of thing.

Wants and needs

It hit, but I'm 2 days too late.
You say feeling fade, I say hope too.
I can't keep pretending I'm not better than any other of those bitches.
The sad part, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.
Where did that put me?
You make it look so easy.
40 minute release and you have no shame, going back to her.
I don't blame you.
At least you can make choices,
It looks so easy for you.
Why isn't this shit easy for me?
I don't know how to do anything really well, but the friend part I think I got down.
Friend. The part where I give,some people take.
"You look happy..."
Wants and needs.
Wants and needs.
Two completely different things.
Because as you go forward in your life,
I NEED to go too.
I NEED to move forward.
I NEED this, despite what my heart may THINK it needs. NEEDS is the wrong word organ, it's WANT.
And I don't WANT this.
I don't WANT to feel like an anything.
I WANT to be an everything.
I didn't want to get in the way...the funny thing I didn't.
Loosen your grip girl, and let the dude go.
If it's really meant to be he'll come back if he wants too.
But you NEED to get over self.

-For you, on this day, post everything. I don't NEED you to be happy.

Waiting in a dream

Every time I got to sleep,
The same image plays in my mind.
Like the music plays every time you open up a jewelry box.
Watching the beautiful ballerina travel in the same circle.
Smiling from the beauty deep within my heart. The images and colors of my dreams and the hope for a peaceful and happy future waits for me.
Like a soul can search for loved ones that have cared about them all this time, play almost like a memory.
Creating illusions in my mind.
And the love an beauty I have searched for all this time, can meet me and brighten my dreams, making me smile in my sleep.

-Age 14 1/2-

My Room

Enter the unknown,
The dying and the full grown.
Where the living flies
and hearts cry.
Where the flowers bloom
Where the end comes soon,
It;s more than just a place, but a rainbow of dreams.
Far across the oceans, where smiles can be seen.
Where the blood has been shed,
and where God can prey.
A place where lost souls stay.
So enter the challange
and enter the surprise
Over the horizon, where floating beds can fly.

-Age 14-

Uncertainties

It's the uncertain things in life that make people wonder and think, if true love was planted in front of you..would it make your heart sink? And if people hated you, would you fight back the pain? Uncertain tears. Thoughts that make you insane. Imaginary people with imaginary things. Birds without feathers, angels without wings. What is actually meant for you and what do you desire? Dreams coming to reality and clouds setting on fire. The perfect person and you don't know it, take one step back so you don't blow it. Uncertain things fill up your heart and you wonder what people actually think of you, because that's not what you wanted, only a friendship to stay true. Uncertain beliefs that come along with uncertain things that you feel. Answers that come much closer and a life doesn't even seem real.

-Age 15-

It's only what I wanted

You see it's only what I wanted.
I wanted life and I'm living.
I wanted happiness and I'm happy.
I even wanted each day and I wake up and not only live it but see it.
I wanted love, and I'm loved by other people, all my family blood or not.
But it's what happened at the end that keeps me stronger and stronger and stronger.
Each and everyday I open my eyes.

-Age 14-

Rage of Innocence

A swift, sweet world.
Years ways from unheard noise.
Happiness flies with ease through the towns.
Together, towns find herds of peace.
The day dies and the night lives
I can breathe in rage, the form of innocence, quiet from sound.
Town the shade of winter, and the stones from summer.
My mind is mixed with native fields with flocks of fire.
I am happy, free, unknown, I do not exist. I only tell the sweet story of my hours, I am only but world I call the shadow of your day; to see the moon yet to rise I try yo swim in a tear that was looking for a face to cry on. Isn't it funny to hear the screams of torn paper?
You can smell a flower but never know it's scent because all who wander are not lost.
If I knew the mind of the wind I would be flying searching for it too. I don't want to be that empty space a writer can't express.
This is the rage of the innocence, and when you feel it you can hear the heartbeat of the Earth.

-By Jennifer Izagurie, One of my 8th grade best Blue Bullet friends-

There is a feeling

There is a feeling that feels like you don't know how to feel or what you doing on this planet. There is a feeling that makes you block out all possible positive things or feelings and consume nothing but confusion, anger and hate. There is a feeling that when you want to clam down you just get hyped back up and want to do something, something about this anger you felt many times before. There is a feeling filled with sad, hope and dreams. This is how I feel.

-Age 13 1/2-

I

I step on to a field of wet grass. I walk across a dark path. I smell the smell the smell of blue air. I like to put flowers in my hair. I like to fall into people's dreams, even though nobody's seen. I like to see and step on to someone's universe and hope. That's my universe doesn't make people choke. My universe is okay and will always be in my heart. It's my universe because it's filled with two worlds; two worlds far apart. One world some can see and one that is covered by me. Now I hope that my two worlds come together and live in my soul.

-Age 13-

I shed these tears.....

I shed these tears for the universe,
I shed for mankind
I especially shed for my family,
I shed these tears for the dying.
With some much hate in the world, I don't know how much tears I could cry, but I'll know I will keep crying, keep crying until everything is alright.
This is for anybody out there who feels like nobody cares for them. Those who have no one to cry for their problems. I dedicate this to you. I can't move at the speed of light but I can think and dream of you. You are never alone.
I shed these tears for you.

-Age 13-

Private Pain

I can't remember how it happened. Now I'm filled with all this sad. Sitting at home with nothing on my mind. Mine as well drown, What's life hold for me? Nothing. Exactly.You went through me like yesterday's trash. Yea, your annoying! Why could I stand you? Now look what you've done! Look at me! I write this a i drown in my tears. Deeper and Deeper, until I can't do it anymore. I pick up the blade, Boom. It's done. Slice. What do you have to say now?

-Age 13-

Memories

There is a first time for everything and a first time to believe. You hold something that can never be gived, step back look into your past see how fast it went, see how fast it could last! We all tried to hold on to our first day of school in September, but why go back in time when you can remember? Remember the time you fell, and you lied, remember the time you got dumped and sat down and cried? It was lost but never forgotten, your memories can be soft, soft as cotton. Yea, that's our past and we left it there for awhile, but what are you going to say when your at home with your child? Always remember the experienced you went through if you didn't how would you be you?


-age 13-

My World (Age 13)

I can do it, I kept saying to myself,
even if my life isn't filled with all it's wealth.
I can climb any mountain, or sail any sea,
If only I can believe in me. Walk out into the world and open your mind,
that's how my personality is one of a kind. Lay back and let the earth grab you by it's roots and toes. Then you can find out what many people don't know. The world is filled with it's bad's and good's, but if you live life like you should, then your soul has finally been taken and left and your mind can never be kept.