Okay, so my plan failed,
But me; a firm believer in destine doesn't know what God wants me to see here.
I thought all my feelings for you were locked up- spent so long trying to take that first step away from you, a step in the opposite direction.
And when I took the 1st one everyone after that...got easier.
But here these feelings are warmer than ever.
I thought you didn't have the key?
Maybe I thought wrong.
Maybe I didn't.
I really wish I knew the significance you play in my life,
because here I thought what we had was another notch under your belt.
But you were waiting for me...for what?
What exactly do you want me to say? That I haven't?
This is frustrating for the both of us.
Part of me wishes you went far far far away back to your old life.
Part of me wants you to stay.
Part of me wishes you didn't tell me how you felt,
Part of me does.
Part of me still thinks I love you too much,
Part of me thinks that other part is stupid and hopes that part will change.
Part of me wished you could be with someone else, at least that pain would be easier.
But still, part of me has hope,
Hope that one day maybe you and me wouldn't have to worry about tomorrow and love each other, the way I think we are supposed too.
Part of me knows that can't happen.
But with all this said one part of me still has the strength,
The strength to get up and live another day,
The strength to try and move on with my life,
With or without you.
Part of me still doesn't know if I should yet.
But either way,
In dreams or reality,
Even though I worry about you,
I have to worry about myself,
and my well being.
And I have to keep myself going,
no matter how may times I keep looking back.
And that one part is still in love........WITH ME.
And either way you slice it,
That part always makes sense.
-For you, but mostly for me-